Song of Solomon 2:7~ “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, not to stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”
In Fall 2007, I
entered the adult world as I left my parents’ home for the first time to live
at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. There was a world of adventures and life changes in front of
me. And I was almost one hundred percent sure that one of these life changes
was going to be meeting my future husband. My mom had made the comment frequently as I went through
high school that I would most likely meet the man that I would one day marry in
college. So, I arrived with the
naïve assumption that everyone in college was happy and in a serious
relationship; however, this assumption was quickly suppressed within my first
semester as an undergrad.
I began to realize not
only that most people in college were not happy but also that most people were
not in relationships.
Unfortunately, this realization did not prevent me from becoming
discouraged. I had never been in a
relationship and I began to feel like there was nothing attractive or desirable
in me.
Thankfully, God began
to bring a few godly women into my life that began to teach me about being
content in singleness and thinking of it as a gift from God. The Lord used these women in my life to
reveal that I was searching for an earthly man to fill parts of my life that
only God could fill. I was not
fully depending on Him and I certainly was not respecting Him as my
Bridegroom. God began to slowly
reveal to me through these women and other friendships that I was creating an
impossible standard for man. As
John and Stasi Eldridge wisely state in their book Captivated, “[We] are made for romance, and the only one who can
offer it to [us] consistently and deeply is Jesus” (125, changed for emphasis).
I had to be completely filled and satisfied in my
intimacy with God before He was going to place a companion in my life.
God had been
protecting my heart in more ways that I could have imagined, while I was
seeking opportunities that would have potentially harmed my heart. He was giving me the gift of being
intimate and personal with him without the distraction of countless
relationships.
Although I continued
to struggle at times with my singleness, I began to live a life filled with
love from my Heavenly Father and Divine Husband. Only after experiencing this love was I prepared to enter
into a relationship with Israel, who is now my boyfriend. And guess what? I met him the day after I graduated
college…Our God definitely has a sense of humor.
Now, I can see even
more clearly and profoundly the love that God has for me through the love that
Israel displays toward me.
However, I know that this appreciation of the Father’s love would not
have been possible if I had not found intimacy with Him first.
