The Prince Charming Illusion

 

From the onset of infancy, most young girls are told, “someday your prince will come” by their loving parents who already have visions about the bright future of their sweet, baby girl.  This simple phrase that may be repeated frequently by parents or other members of immediate family begins to build a sense of need for a significant other in the mind of the young girl.  Although intentions are usually good, the results can be detrimental.  Girls begin to see themselves only as being useful or complete when accompanied by their future soul mate.  And then, when they find themselves single in their late teens or early twenties, it seems as if they are the outcasts of society if they are not yet in a relationship or if they have not at least had a few attempts by going on some dates or by “putting themselves out there.”  Although this may be the norm for our culture, I don’t believe this is what the Lord has intended for us based on Scripture.  Paul actually refers to singleness as a gift (Ephesians 7:6-8) and encourages us to stay that way unless we simply cannot exercise self-control.  I don’t believe Paul is saying here that marriage is bad, but Paul acknowledges his singleness allows him a special intimacy with God.

          

I think we all, especially parents, can learn from Paul’s example.  Shouldn’t we encourage young boys and girls to seek first an intimacy in their relationship with Christ, and teach them that the Lord will provide in the best way for his or her life whether that means having a spouse or not?  This changes the emphasis of things, which is very important because the boy or the girl is no longer the center of attention.  God becomes the center of attention!  This makes us focus on the reason for which we were created, to bring God the most glory.  Then, fathers and mothers could spend more quality time teaching their sons and daughters how to be better men and women of God, not to find satisfaction in the eyes of the opposite sex, but rather to find satisfaction in the eyes of their Heavenly Father.

             
A verse that has taught me a lot regarding this aspect of life is Song of Solomon 2:7, which says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, not to stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”  This verse is found amongst some of the most intimate verses in Scripture, and brings peace to the heart of a young, single woman if she is willing to listen.  From this verse, the Lord has taught me to have confidence in His will for my life.  If He chooses for me to have a husband, He will bring that man into my life in His timing, which is perfect.  If He chooses for me to be single, then, I will have the opportunity to enjoy freely my intimacy with Him for the rest of my years.